Strange Things During A Round

[GBOGEY]

All of this happened today:
1. Get paired up with a guy. Most scruffy dressed golfer I've ever seen. Cargo shorts that were worn out and too long. Shirt that was either extremely dirty or badly stained, shoes where the sole was separating from the rest of the shoe. Basically looked like a carpenter who went straight from repairing your house to the course.
2. We go off as a two some at 1:50. The starter sternly warns us, a twosome, that our mark is to finish the first 9 by 3:50. He was very concerned.
3. First hole is a par 3 (that's strange by itself). He hits first shot way left. Declares 1st tee mulligan. I'm okay with that. Hits 2nd shot. I hit my shot towards the green - I hit the green but was 65 feet or so from the hole - before my ball even lands he's off in his cart towards his ball.
4. Front 9 was a par 37, total was a par 73 - that's strange.
5. Followed dad and a young child (probably 8) around the front 9. Dad was oblivious that we were waiting the whole 9 - he also had earphones of some sort on - might actually have been on a conference call at one point. Kid was cute with his excitement but play was slow.
6. At the turn we asked the starter to push dad to let us go through. Starter didn't want to do it, but finally did so reluctantly.
7. Then the starter gave us a third. Based upon how we were paired, we now have 3 guys in 3 carts. The starter asks us to consolidate carts. The first guy says that since we were all singles we should continue as is. The 2nd guy says he prefers to be alone. Then the first guy and the started get into a mini-argument until the starter leaves us miffed.
8. Guy #2 had a pre-shot routine for the ages. First, a practice swing. Then a waggle routine that would make Jason Dufner jealous and fast. Then he nodded his head up and down like a bobble head doll at least 3 times, sometimes as many as 9, then he swung. As ugly as his routine was, he hit the ball decently. The good thing about his routine, it kept us from waiting on Dad and kid.

They were both decent guys and overall a good day, just lots of strangeness.

[jfurr]

Guy #2 had a pre-shot routine for the ages. First, a practice swing. Then a waggle routine that would make Jason Dufner jealous and fast. Then he nodded his head up and down like a bobble head doll at least 3 times, sometimes as many as 9, then he swung. As ugly as his routine was, he hit the ball decently. The good thing about his routine, it kept us from waiting on Dad and kid.

this (on top of the other strangeness) would have probably taken me over the edge of keeping cool

[GBOGEY]

Today a buddy and I got paired with two singles. Guy #2 wasn't bad - older Asian gentleman - only issue is that he really needed to move up to the senior tees as he didn't even have senior distance.

Guy #1 was a partner for the ages. Could hit the ball a mile but never could really tell if he could play. He was in a cart and the other 3 of us were walking, but he played his shot and then kind of raced ahead to the green. I marked his ball on the 1st green as it was in my line, but then he tossed my marker back and said don't bother, I'll just move aside. He then moved his ball over about 5 feet and then putted lamely towards the hole with a wedge. Next 2 holes were basically the same although one hole he putted with his driver instead of a putter. On the 4th hole, a par 3, he hit his shot 10 feet from the hole. While the 3 of us who all came up short were getting ready to chip, he putts towards the hole (with his putter) misses, picks up his ball and goes to the 5th tee while we play out the hole. While we were putting, he hit at least 4 tee shots. Then raced ahead while we played the next hole. He did the same two other times where he raced ahead to hit his tee shot while we played out the hole. On a couple of holes, after we finished he dropped 4 balls (no exaggeration) and chipped from the spot he had been at while we went to the next tee.

Never interacted with us at all. Also had the music box going in his cart, and interesting stuff like Theme from Star Wars and some heavy metal. I kept thinking he was just going to go on without us but never did. I was going to suggest that he just go ahead but my buddy was afraid that his reaction might not be stable. Fortunately for us, he left us after the 9th hole. He said he was done for the day, but I saw him cruising around looking for an open hole to play alone. Bizarre.

[Duke of Hazards]

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe he was there to only practice certain things on the course, but he might have told you guys first. I'd find that distracting.

[jfurr]

What about a plaque on a golf course commemorating a civil war battle that never happened?

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/11/25/u ... story.html

[Duke of Hazards]

What about a plaque on a golf course commemorating a civil war battle that never happened?

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/11/25/u ... story.html

Wow.

[legitimatebeef]

Today a buddy and I got paired with two singles. Guy #2 wasn't bad - older Asian gentleman - only issue is that he really needed to move up to the senior tees as he didn't even have senior distance.

Guy #1 was a partner for the ages. Could hit the ball a mile but never could really tell if he could play. He was in a cart and the other 3 of us were walking, but he played his shot and then kind of raced ahead to the green. I marked his ball on the 1st green as it was in my line, but then he tossed my marker back and said don't bother, I'll just move aside. He then moved his ball over about 5 feet and then putted lamely towards the hole with a wedge. Next 2 holes were basically the same although one hole he putted with his driver instead of a putter. On the 4th hole, a par 3, he hit his shot 10 feet from the hole. While the 3 of us who all came up short were getting ready to chip, he putts towards the hole (with his putter) misses, picks up his ball and goes to the 5th tee while we play out the hole. While we were putting, he hit at least 4 tee shots. Then raced ahead while we played the next hole. He did the same two other times where he raced ahead to hit his tee shot while we played out the hole. On a couple of holes, after we finished he dropped 4 balls (no exaggeration) and chipped from the spot he had been at while we went to the next tee.

Never interacted with us at all. Also had the music box going in his cart, and interesting stuff like Theme from Star Wars and some heavy metal. I kept thinking he was just going to go on without us but never did. I was going to suggest that he just go ahead but my buddy was afraid that his reaction might not be stable. Fortunately for us, he left us after the 9th hole. He said he was done for the day, but I saw him cruising around looking for an open hole to play alone. Bizarre.

Thanks for sharing these tales, I like hearing this stuff. Since I haven't been on a course in so long, I can now see the humorous side of public golf.

[jattruia]

Last weekend i played with a friend on a local course. It was hot as balls out so it was pretty empty. We played the front 9 at 3 over (both of us tied) in about 90 minutes and moved on to 10. Weird thing we saw at first was from the 8th green. Some older guy came driving down the 9th fairway, hurried up and teed off and played the hole. We teed off before he finished the par 4 but were thinking he was just playing the 9th again before leaving or something like that...no such luck.

We get to the 10th just as he left the tee box. It's a reachable par 5 with a good drive so we waited for him to clear and watched him play from the fairway. We saw him hit 2 balls, both awful, and saw him tossing clubs around as he advanced maybe 50-100 yards at a time, for each ball.

My partner put one left and i was in the fairway. My parter duffed a punch but ended up with a shot at the green, so we were both waiting. He couldn't see the green, but i could from the fairway. Old dude in front of us, played both balls up, pulled his cart around the green, partially through a greenside bunker, and then just stood on the left side of the green staring at us. I waited a bit, and he never moved; apparently this was his way of telling us to play up. So, with him on the green and me 185 out i erred to the right side and lost my first ball of the day. My partner then went and ended up left of the green. The old guy putted out his two balls while we approached the green and then went to sit in his cart without saying a word.

We hurriedly finished the hole with 2 bogies, and went on to the next tee box where he had pulled up. We confirmed that he was letting us play through, and he mumbled a few random things (in slurred speech and sounding like he had cleared a pack of cigs already) including how the guy on an adjacent hole had 'stolen his M2' at some point and that the two of them had been kicked off of whatever course that was during this incident. Then he told us at least a half dozen times to 'take your time' as he was playing 2 balls and didn't want us 'cussing up the fairway because we hurried our shots.' Then we both hit decent drives, thanked him again, and he let us know to 'take your time' a few more times for good measure.

This guy was clearly half in the bag when we saw him, and it was enough to throw our games off for at least a few holes after we had finished such a brisk front nine.

This was easily the oddest character i had ever met on the course, so much so that were were hoping the next guy that played through him would catch us so we could all compare notes. No luck there either unfortunately.

[bryan k]

There is a twosome that I occasionally get paired with here in Phoenix. They are not the most refined gentlemen on the planet, but I like them. They tend to wear ratty tee shirts and dirty jeans onto the course, and they talk with a rural lilt that I find kind of cool. The best part about these guys? They are both named Daryl.

And yes, there is another guy that I get pair with occasionally named Larry. By chance, I have ended up with Larry and the two Daryls on two different occasions, both times at the same course. If you think that was good enough, Larry absolutely hates the Daryls with every fiber of his being.

Larry grew up with money, apparently. And he apparently doesn't have money anymore. That's why he plays the munis. He's used to country club golf, so he has certain expectations while on the course. Except he is passive aggressive about it. He won't confront the Daryls to see if they can work out some kind of mutual understanding. No. He's extremely nice to them right up until the point where they are out of ear shot.

I was chugging some water the first time I heard him refer to the Daryls as "The Hee Haw Boys". The entire golf cart got sprayed with water because that shit is hilarious. He was still in said cart when this happened.

I don't think Larry likes me anymore, either.

But the Daryls aren't stupid. The next time I played with them, they mentioned "That Larry guy doesn't like us very much, does he?"

And my response: "Have you guys ever heard of a show called Newheart?"

[jasonfish11]

http://www.golf.com/extra-spin/2017/08/ ... olf-course

[Duke of Hazards]

http://www.golf.com/extra-spin/2017/08/ ... olf-course

Lawdy! Keep your people in check, Furr.

[jasonfish11]

http://www.golf.com/extra-spin/2017/08/ ... olf-course

Lawdy! Keep your people in check, Furr.

I was wondering if this was better in this thread or in the "other uses for range finders" thread.

[jfurr]

I was just about to post the same

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex/ ... ter-019453

[srogers13]

Did he get a two stroke penalty for trying to improve his lay? They were doing it dogleg style?

At least in this case, the female was at least decent looking, most of the time when you hear about a story like this, the people are gawd-awful ugly.

[legitimatebeef]

Jesus Christ, in the end it is a measly misdemeanor exposure charge, yet I have seen this (minor local news) story in at least four different places online in the last couple days. These people's lives are probably now ruined. Well the girl's is at least. In that sense the punishment is way too harsh.

I have come across spent condom wrappers in bunkers at Dyker, so I have long suspected this kind of thing. But now I know.

[Duke of Hazards]

You east coasters are a bunch of degenerates. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

[bkuehn1952]

?..I have come across spent condom wrappers in bunkers at Dyker, so I have long suspected this kind of thing...

I have found unused, in the wrapper, condoms on the course. I always imagined the disappointment ...

[DougE]

I have found unused, in the wrapper, condoms on the course. I always imagined the disappointment ...

Well, since they're found on a golf course, it could just be a simple case of "premature release," which is quite disappointing when trying to score. A good instructor can fix that.

[legitimatebeef]

?..I have come across spent condom wrappers in bunkers at Dyker, so I have long suspected this kind of thing...

I have found unused, in the wrapper, condoms on the course. I always imagined the disappointment ...

"#@$%$! why did I even bring this stupid thing", as the young man flings the unlucky prophylactic into the dark night.

[jattruia]

Well, if you're going to get arrested, this is the way to do it.

But really, who calls it in? Unless of course, they are holding up play.

[jasonfish11]

But really, who calls it in? Unless of course, they are holding up play.

I agree, but why wouldn't you just play as is. I mean they were so far off the tee box that someone had to use a range finder to see what was going on. So hitting them with your drive won't cause any damage (other than they might get pissed).

It would be just like in Florida if there is a gator on the FW. Just keep playing and avoid getting near it if you can, if not shoe it away with your golf club.

I think the same situation applies. If they happen to irrationally get pissed my drive landed 10 yards from them and I walk up to my ball with a 7i in hand ready to play the next shot, so be it. Even if the guy wants to resort to a fight, I have 14 blunt objects and they don't have a concealed weapon (or a concealed anything for that matter). So it isn't like I have to worry about them "beating me up."