Interacting with Your Playing Partners

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DougE
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Interacting with Your Playing Partners

Post by DougE » Thu Jun 07, 2018 9:11 am

How much do you like interacting with your playing partners during a round of which you plan to play seriously, not casually, and post the score to your GHIN index?

I am having a problem lately with some of my friendly playing partners who know me well enough personally to feel like they can talk to me all round as if I'm interested. Trust me, when I play golf seriously, I am not interested in the new car you are looking at, or whether your wife got mad at you for something, or what you did on this hole yesterday or anything else not related to my game today. I am trying to focus. I am there to play golf, think golf and analyze golf. Nothing else really matters when the round is an important one to me. It doesn't have to be a tournament round. A round that will be played by the rules and posted for my GHIN is serious enough. I'm not there to schmooze potential clients, get some exercise or just enjoy the surroundings. I'm there to play golf as well as I can that day.

I understand there is casual golf and serious golf and that I should not play with guys who aren't serious when I am trying to be. But it's not always that simple. And, you don't always get to pick your partners. Sometimes the starters do it for you.

People can be sensitive if you don't pay them proper attention when they are talking. And, I don't want to come off as a self-centered asshole, but as much as I like most of my playing partners, there is a time and place for chit chat and IMO, it is not on the tee before I am about to hit, or on the green when I am trying to "feel" the speed and break of an upcoming putt.

Then there is the guy who is also serious about his game and thinks that everyone else out there wants to hear about every nuance of the shot he just hit. I have my own problems. Get yourself a caddie who will listen.

The other day I was playing with a guy I play with often. He knows I am very serious about my game and that I get quite annoyed when I make a poor shot. Not loud-profanities-and-throwing-clubs-annoyed, but really-focused-annoyed, intently analyzing internally what went wrong and why. That is not when I have one single iota of interest in anyone else's result from the shot that they just made or how they could have played a different club for a better result. I don't freakin' care what the hell you just did. I just flew the green on an easy shot and you want to talk about your shot that landed on the green, but too far right. Like I give a flying f#ck right now. Just shut up and play golf when you see someone focused hard on their game. How hard is that?

I would be happy to play a round of golf with others who just play their own games and let me play mine. We can talk a bit socially out there at appropriate times, when walking off the green maybe, but I don't want to hear every little decision you make and why, and I, in return, won't tell you what I'm doing. We can talk about it all in the bar later if you want. Right now, I just want to think about what I need to think about. Why is that so hard for others to understand?

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legitimatebeef
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Re: Interacting with Your Playing Partners

Post by legitimatebeef » Thu Jun 07, 2018 12:56 pm

Doug you are just too thoughtful IMO. Yeah people can be sensitive but they are more often the opposite. Too oblivious to really notice that you don't really give a shit. I suppose you always have to fake it a bit though. Still I don't believe people are as sensitive as you fear. They can't be. Because sensitivity is related to perceptivity and most peoples's perceptiveness is pretty dull. Like could you imagine one of these yappers saying, "Yeah, Doug. He's alright to play with, but he's just not... a good listener." Can you imagine an actual MAN making that complaint? Any MAN worth associating with? That's what I thought!
Build a bridge and get over it.

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Re: Interacting with Your Playing Partners

Post by legitimatebeef » Thu Jun 07, 2018 1:01 pm

Ideal conversation on the course is sparse IMO. Four+ hours is a long time to spend in close contact with people, I don't care if it's your homies or not. Getting too yappy is effeminate. Stop it. Go sit at a cafe if you want to gab.
Build a bridge and get over it.

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GBOGEY
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Re: Interacting with Your Playing Partners

Post by GBOGEY » Thu Jun 07, 2018 4:58 pm

My guess is that there are degrees on how to address this question. There's annoyance and there's conversation. I played with a guy the other day who would not stop talking - all round - every minute someone wasn't taking a shot. Lots of annoying topics. Thank goodness it wasn't on an airplane or somewhere I couldn't get away from him - at least I could walk to my ball and be away from him. Probably about the worst golfer I've ever seen too - bad swing, no distance - made you wonder if he came out to play golf just so someone would listen to him. Clearly this is annoyance.

Actually conversing with my partners is part of what I like about golf. I'd say about half the people I get paired with are okay to chat with be it golf or non-golf topics and about half don't want to say much.

Unless it's an outing, I take every round of golf seriously. Some of course more seriously than others - I'm much less particular in November when conditions are bad but I still want to play well every time I'm out there, almost to a fault. How much interaction I have with others is usually more dependent on me and how I'm playing - if I have a bad day, I'm probably scowling to the point where people don't want to interact with me and it's probably better for me if they do talk to get me to take things less seriously. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that social interaction is probably a good thing unless it's Mr. Annoying.

Finally this - I listened to a podcast recently with Webb Simpson's caddie where he talked about making up a list of conversation topics before a round so that Webb thinks about something besides golf during a round. I tend to agree - as long as you can get focused on your shot thinking about golf less is better - it's when the conversation lingers over a shot that things don't go well - another reason walking is better than riding a cart - less cart buddy talking to linger.

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bkuehn1952
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Re: Interacting with Your Playing Partners

Post by bkuehn1952 » Thu Jun 07, 2018 7:37 pm

Agree, walking allows one to interact or wander off. I dislike cart riding except for pretty close buddies because the "other guy" often is not tuned into what I would like in a "partner".
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GHIN Handicap: 7.8 … 9.2 … Let’s just say I am around a 14!

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