Jokes - Golf or not

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bkuehn1952
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Jokes - Golf or not

Postby bkuehn1952 » Fri Mar 06, 2015 7:38 pm

Variations of this joke has been making the rounds:

A young daughter and her father were sitting at breakfast. As the father sipped his coffee, he decided to quiz his daughter before he went out to play 18.
Father: “Tomorrow is Presidents Day”
Daughter: “I know”
Father: “Do you know why we have Presidents Day?”
Daughter: “Yes. On Presidents Day the President leaves the White House. If he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of bullshit”

The father discovered it is very painful to snort hot coffee out the nose.
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Coda1850
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Re: Jokes - Golf or not

Postby Coda1850 » Tue May 19, 2015 4:24 pm

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.



After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; Two men and a woman.


For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.


'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.


Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .... Kill her!!'


The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.'


The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man For this job. Take your wife and go home.'


The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet forabout 5 minutes.


The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it
takes. Take your wife and go home.'


Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her
brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to kill him with the chair!
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jfurr
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Re: Jokes - Golf or not

Postby jfurr » Tue May 19, 2015 9:14 pm

Three Putting -- it's like jerking off.... it's embarrassing, but you know you're gonna do it again.
I'm gonna hit a provisional
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GBOGEY
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Re: Jokes - Golf or not

Postby GBOGEY » Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:16 pm

A man comes home from playing golf and finds a note on the fridge from his wife. "This isn't working, I'm going to my mother's."

The opens the fridge. The light comes on. The beer is cold. He is still trying to figure out what his wife was talking about.


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