Falson50Driver - Sent us a new (old) joke

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bkuehn1952
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Falson50Driver - Sent us a new (old) joke

Post by bkuehn1952 » Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:45 pm

Since a few of the guys I play golf with are not especially young men, there are on occasion instances where a fellow feels it necessary to call attention to that fact.
Like,
He's older than electricity.
When he was a boy, the Dead Sea was feeling pretty good.
When he was a boy, Pontius was a student Pilate.
Older than dirt,etc

Have you got any good ones to share?

As a matter of fact, yes, an alleged true story:

A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'
Let's Play 36
GHIN Handicap: 7.8 … 9.2 … Let’s just say I am around a 14!

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bryan k
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Re: Falson50Driver - Sent us a new (old) joke

Post by bryan k » Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:24 am

So a guy goes hunting. He sees a bear, so he takes a shot. He misses, and the bear is too quick for him to get another shot off. The bear makes him an offer. "I can either eat you while you die slowly, or I can give you some love like only a bear can give."

The man doesn't hesitate. He takes the bear love, but now he's extremely pissed off. He goes and buys a bigger gun. He can fit like 12 rounds in a magazine, so now he should be able to get in at least three shots where before he could only get in one. While he's setting up in the forest, the bear surprises him from behind, and he barely has time to get off one wild shot before the bear catches him again. "You don't learn very fast, do you. I'll give you the same choice."

The man reluctantly takes more bear love, but there are no longer words to describe how livid he is. He goes and buys an even better gun. This one fires off three rounds each time you pull the trigger. This means that even if the bear takes him by surprise, he's got a good chance to get in a lucky shot. However, when he gets to the forest, the bear is there waiting for him. The bear takes a puff off of his cigarette before he says "I'm starting to think you ain't in this for the hunt."

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bkuehn1952
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Re: Falson50Driver - Sent us a new (old) joke

Post by bkuehn1952 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:24 am

bryan k wrote:... "I'm starting to think you ain't in this for the hunt."
:thumbs
Let's Play 36
GHIN Handicap: 7.8 … 9.2 … Let’s just say I am around a 14!

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bkuehn1952
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Falcon50Driver - New Joke

Post by bkuehn1952 » Mon Apr 10, 2017 3:46 pm

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there eating grass under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the second poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"
"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
Let's Play 36
GHIN Handicap: 7.8 … 9.2 … Let’s just say I am around a 14!

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bryan k
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Re: Falson50Driver - Sent us a new (old) joke

Post by bryan k » Mon Apr 10, 2017 8:53 pm

<thumbs up emoji thingie>

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