2017 LPGA thread

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2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Tue Feb 28, 2017 1:15 pm

Attempting to corral all tournament-oriented chat into a catchall thread. But if anyone ever has a particular boner for a particular tournament, feel free to start a standalone topic.

This week is a big event in many different ways. The field is limited but it's very strong, and the pros seem to esteem this tournament and its host country quite highly. This year's HSBC Champions marks the as-an-LPGA-member debut of South Korean phenom Sung Hyun Park, who hits it higher and longer than any of us male chauvinist pricks can. You might be surprised to find this out but I have become a big Sung Hyun Park fan. With her high clubhead speed and surly fuck-you attitude she is freeing women's golf from its shackles and leading the game into the future.

Most significantly, this tournaments represents an opportunity for us Americans to enjoy live prime-time golf action. Here is the Golf Channel broadcast schedule, all times shown are ET.

Wednesday 10:30pm-2:30am
Thursday 12am-2:30am
Friday 12am-2:30am
Saturday 10:30pm-2:30am
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:20 am

Ok you dweebs there is more to this tournament than some giraffe-looking Hawaiian. This year's HSBC is shaping up to be pretty goddamn exciting. Could be like the Wrestlemania 7 of modern ladies' golf. Lots of intrigue. Okay we'll start with Michelle the fan favorite. Fine, if that's the way you have to have it. Okay, so she managed not to crumble in the face of some real competition. For that she should be ultra, mega-proud of herself. However real danger lies ahead. Tonight she will be pared with none other than Sung Hyun Park of Korea, aka the terminator aka the future of golf. SHP represents, in many ways, the fulfillment of the potential that Michelle Wie once teased the world with but never fully realized. This could very well be the toughest mental test of Michelle Wie's life. She needs your support now more than ever you infidels. You people love to talk about your love for Michelle Wie all day and all night, but when push comes to shove, I question your faith.

At the top of the board is a familiar name. Hopefully by now most of the Inbee Park haters have scattered like the cockroaches they are. You people don't seem to get it. You need to watch this woman hit putts. It's a whole other level, a higher standard of putting. You might think that the way you contact the ball with the putter isn't really that important. It is. Watch Inbee and how f'n square and solid she putts the ball. Or don't. Keep on whiffing putts and not getting them in the hole. What do I care. :fkno
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:39 am

Unlike all you gutless rats I enjoyed watching the tournament last night. Even though I am one of Inbee Park's loyal minions, I was still taken aback at her putting performance. Putt after putt, just poured into the hole. After she made like three in a row at one point I started to feel woozy. I know you guys are all haters and whatever but I am comforted by an Inbee Park victory in 2017. We all should be. Because she embodies golf's highest virtues without necessarily looking all that great doing it. She reminds us of what is truly important in the playing of this stupid game. It's not about big, splashy swings, or eye-catching apparel or bending over to give everyone a good view of your ass. It's about hitting it straight, controlling your fuckin' distances and once you get on the green, putting with intensity and a goddamn sense of purpose.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby DougE » Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:28 am

Agree, Inbee is awesome. Now that her thumb is somewhat healed, I expect she will definitely be a big threat every time she tees it up. She's no flash in the pan like Yani Seng. Inbee's for real. Well, actually Yani wasn't really a flash in the pan, but she has been in a pretty bad 3-4 year slump for some reason. She's lost all confidence. I think Inbee will be in the top 5 this year, along with Ariya, and maybe Lexi.

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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby bkuehn1952 » Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:09 am

legitimatebeef wrote:... I am one of Inbee Park's loyal minions...


...and yet you chose Lexi Thompson over Inbee at the HSBC, unlike this old guy who recognized a winner. :thumbs
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:17 am

bkuehn1952 wrote:
legitimatebeef wrote:... I am one of Inbee Park's loyal minions...


...and yet you chose Lexi Thompson over Inbee at the HSBC, unlike this old guy who recognized a winner. :thumbs


My "picks" are heavily steeped in superstition and vague ideas about jinxes and hexes and what not.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:24 pm

Currently leading this week's Founders Cup is American Beth Allen, who is apparently the GIC (Golf-Industrial Complex)'s dirty little secret.

She is the reigning Ladies European Tour money winner and player of the year, and one of the top American women golfers in the world.

So why such a secret? Probably because Beth Allen is not particularly photogenic, telegenic, or young. If she were to win on the LPGA and make news, it would be a major setback for those in the business of presenting golf to the public. I like oogling tight young ladies as much as (but probably more than) the next guy, but this sort of nonsense still makes me angry. Not saying it is perfect, but sports is like the last bastion of fairness and meritocracy in society. If a golfer can't get a fair shake due to her looks, then the whole damn thing loses credibility.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:31 pm

Oh ok, I see what's going on now. Beth Allen is openly gay. I guess we should consider her lucky that the LPGA even allows her to set foot on a course where they are having a tournament, let alone compete in it.

Whatever, she is also from San Diego, which is where the beefster went to college. If that's not enough for you cretins, Beth Allen is competing with only one kidney because she donated the other one to her brother a few years ago. So, now do you feel bad about ignoring Beth Allen? You should.

Dick.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby DougE » Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:34 pm

U so funny, Beef. :lolz

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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:02 pm

All this support of Beth Allen is well-meaning and precious, and we have fun joking around about Michelle making a birdie or two, but meanwhile the Koreans led by the great Inbee Park, are staking claims on the leaderboard. Fun is over.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Thu Mar 16, 2017 4:08 pm

You haven't seen the last of Stacy Lewis :fkno
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Sat Mar 18, 2017 11:04 am

Some interesting news. A women's group is planning a protest today at the site of this week's Founders Cup tournament. They are protesting what they perceive as the LPGA's involvement with Trump. Problem is, the US Women's Open is a USGA event. Anyways let's not get bogged down in pesky details. They are planning to fly a banner as well as to hand out anti-Trump themed beach balls or some shit.

My guess is that some of the more MAGA-minded girls are going to get rattled. Look for the foreign contingent, likely untroubled by our ludicrous national problems, to have more fun out there today.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:32 am

Clash of the titans in the final round today/tonight. Some big chicks gunning for the title. Big as in status but also big as in size. Also Beth Allen, Inbee, SHP on the fringe of contention. I am looking forward to it.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:36 am

I used to say, "I'll watch if Tiger's in contention, but I'm not a true fan of golf". But being honest, that's a load of bullshit. I mean look at just the previous post I made trumpeting the likes of Beth Allen and Sung Hyun Park. Jesus Christ, if that's not a 'true fan' of this stupid game, then nobody is one. :facepalm
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby bkuehn1952 » Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:18 pm

Holy crap, the OTHER Juntanugarn is kicking butt.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:57 pm

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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Thu Mar 23, 2017 3:11 pm

Currently the leaderboard is a who's who of who cares. The GC's coverage tonight, all signs point to tape-delayed broadcast. Fuckin shit. "The food here is terrible, and such small portions."
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:41 pm

After a slow start Inbee Park is starting to fuck shit up today.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread - ANA "Inspiration"

Postby legitimatebeef » Wed Mar 29, 2017 12:34 pm

Well folks, it's that time once again. Time for the biggest lesbian party in the world

http://thedinah.com


You probably think I'm kidding around in my usual coarse manner but no, this is 100% real. Any laughs you might react with are incidental, and quite frankly, your own problem. Don't judge. :onfire

Coinciding with "The Dinah" is the LPGA golf tournament which, in a past life, was the original inspiration the weeklong gay festivities.

Fun fact: The week before "The Inspiration", the AJGA holds a junior tournament at the same Mission Hills course.
Not so fun fact: The winners of this event--one girl and one boy--are forced to jump into the pond adjacent to the 18th green in a mimicry of the traditional women's celebration associated with the "Inspiration". If that is not cruel and emasculating enough, they are then forced into white bathrobes.

Image

I am telling you all this just as a reminder that while golf competition can be fun, as well as rewarding for those who excel, there is still a steep price to pay, and you pay with your individuality.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Wed Mar 29, 2017 2:36 pm

Ok, I just browsed last year's ANA Inspiration thread and had a good laugh at myself and my out of control posting. This remark however, I feel compelled to re-post as my feelings haven't changed much:

2016 Beef wrote:The first major tournament, men or women, is upon us and yet I feel numb. But why? This tournament has issues, from a casual fan's standpoint. From this one's at least. The tradition of jumping in the pond (which is now a paved, heated and chlorinated pool) has officially crossed over from quaint territory into the bizarre. The golf course being a Southern California desert course is boring to look at. I know the title sponsor is now ANA but for the longest time it was known as "Kraft Nabisco"--a dubious appellation at best. Look I will eat an Oreo cookie if obligated, but companies like Kraft Nabisco, aren't they essentially enemies of life and good health? Anyways that's maybe for another soapbox.

Lastly it is a poorly kept secret that this tournament is essentially the centerpiece of the biggest lesbian party on earth. Before you call me an intolerant douche let me say I have no issues with sexuality-oriented partying whatsoever. I celebrate the biggest lesbian party on earth. Well maybe not literally but in spirit. I just have a hard time considering such a tournament as this as being on par with the Masters, US Open, the KPMGWPGAC and other such historic and prestigious events. The women golf equivalent of the Masters' green jacket being a white terry cloth robe, it doesn't really do it for me.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Fri Mar 31, 2017 1:55 pm

I am finding out that Inbee Park uses a fairly spartan pre-putt routine. I want to find out more. I am completely willing to shamelessly copy her technique if it means making more putts.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:21 pm

Cristie Kerr playing well. I am definitively not a fan, but for some reason wouldn't mind seeing her displace large amounts of water come Sunday. Guess I'm not much a fan of this tournament.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby srogers13 » Fri Mar 31, 2017 3:37 pm

legitimatebeef wrote:Cristie Kerr playing well. I am definitively not a fan, but for some reason wouldn't mind seeing her displace large amounts of water come Sunday. Guess I'm not much a fan of this tournament.

Think I shared this story before this site was founded about Kerr where some of you might have seen it, but here goes. Several years ago as I was working the scoring tent at the LPGA tournament here, Kerr had barely made the cut, and had one of the first tee times off a single tee start. So she gets to 18, and puts her approach shot in one of the front greenside bunkers, playing to a back pin. She then proceeded to copy my bunker play, and blast her shot completely over the grandstands, into a mound of knee high grass on a mound on the other side. Not a single caddie I mentioned that too felt an ounce of sympathy for her, with several even saying that it could not happen to a nicer person. Needless to say, she spent very little time signing autographs after her round.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Sat Apr 01, 2017 1:00 pm

The mrs. and I were watching some of the coverage last night. Lexi Thompson pounded a drive and then a gruff male voice called out from the gallery, "Good girl!" Well the mrs. flew in to a feminist rage, almost threw the TV out the window. I could understand her point. These are very young ladies, being fanboyed by much older men.
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Re: 2017 LPGA thread

Postby legitimatebeef » Sat Apr 01, 2017 1:02 pm

srogers13 wrote:
legitimatebeef wrote:Cristie Kerr playing well. I am definitively not a fan, but for some reason wouldn't mind seeing her displace large amounts of water come Sunday. Guess I'm not much a fan of this tournament.

Think I shared this story before this site was founded about Kerr where some of you might have seen it, but here goes. Several years ago as I was working the scoring tent at the LPGA tournament here, Kerr had barely made the cut, and had one of the first tee times off a single tee start. So she gets to 18, and puts her approach shot in one of the front greenside bunkers, playing to a back pin. She then proceeded to copy my bunker play, and blast her shot completely over the grandstands, into a mound of knee high grass on a mound on the other side. Not a single caddie I mentioned that too felt an ounce of sympathy for her, with several even saying that it could not happen to a nicer person. Needless to say, she spent very little time signing autographs after her round.


If the LPGA is in fact profitable, I believe it is in spite of such people. It's as if she is daring TV viewers to change the channel. Maybe she does good works off the course but on it, there are few if any who are less classy than Ms Kerr. :gross
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