Why do you take so long to hit the goddamn ball?

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legitimatebeef
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Why do you take so long to hit the goddamn ball?

Post by legitimatebeef » Thu Apr 05, 2018 6:32 pm

Seriously. You are a rank amateur recreational player. What exactly do you believe happens in that 45-90 second period between when your turn starts and impact?

What is the point of all these practice swings? Are you grooving a swing, or grooving the target? Because to me it doesn't even look like you really know what you're trying to accomplish out there.

Did you ever consider how much energy you are spending lashing away at the air like that, over the course of four plus hours, and 18 holes? The best players in the world struggle to maintain peak energy level through 18 holes. You on the other hand, are a schlub. You do not exactly have energy to spare. Making 200-300 practice swings over the course of a round saps your energy, you douchebag. Think about that. I am begging you.

When you get over the ball and stand there frozen, just what the hell is going on? Are you seriously trying to remember what happens next? Listen, there is quite a bit of variety in golf instruction theory but one thing that they ALL agree on, is do NOT stand there frozen over the ball. Jesus Christ. Keep things moving along, and you will swing better. Guarantee it.

And are you actually trying to mimic the worst slow players on the professional golf tour? Because very often it looks like that, jack. And as such, you look like a major league JACKASS. Is it really worth it? Is your stupid little preshot torture session so precious to you that you can't even one time try something different for a change?

Do you ever consider what it is like for other people to have to play with you? Or behind you? I'm sorry I can't beat around the bush anymore: it sucks playing anywhere near you. You suck the energy out of a wonderful (in theory) game. You pompous ass. You think you're so good, that you deserve to take so much time just to hit your stupid meaningless shots? I am here to remind you: YOU ARE NOT.

What would happen, do you suppose, if you were to simply pick a target, step up to the ball and hit it? What might happen if, for one round, you simply tried, just for the sheer hell of it, playing without all of that painful rigamarole that you call a pre-shot routine? Did you ever once consider that maybe, just MAYBE, you might even swing and play better, by eliminating all that OCD-type shit?

:fuckall
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Re: Why do you take so long to hit the goddamn ball?

Post by sjduffers » Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:02 pm

Completely agreed. I played yesterday with a guy like that, on a slow day to begin with (the 5-some in front of us was not particularly quick and had over 1 hole open in front of them by the time they got to 16). The round took over 5 hours on an easy, flat, muni. Why? I ask. Why?

I mentioned to Mr. slowpoke that starting January 1st, 2019, the rules will actually say that a shot SHOULD take less than 40 seconds (except for the unusual and tougher circumstance) and that tournament committees would be able to penalize players who go over that routinely. And by the way, you average over 40 seconds already: On the last couple of holes, I timed you on your tee shot (45s), on your approach shot (40s), on a routine chip (45s) and a first putt (1 minute). The guy ignores me. Then, on the next hole, I time him again on a fairly straightforward, straight-ish 25 footer. He finally hits it and I say to him: even this easy putt (to read and execute, not necessarily to make) took you 35 seconds! He quips back at me: "we are here to have fun, no?" Yes, we are, but I am telling you in no uncertain terms that you are freaking slow and that takes away the fun for me, and the rest of the group and the groups behind. I didn't actually said that last sentence to him. Instead I said: yes we are, but I am telling you because you must know. He sped up somewhat after that. He even mentioned that the round was slow, because of the group in front and he'd be surprised if we'd finish the last 4 holes in an hour (he had to leave by a certain time not to much after said hour). He think I looked at him sideways for saying shit like that.

God, if everybody was like him and shot say 85 (he was a bit better than that, but I don't think he broke 80), a foursome would take over 5 hours of actual golfing time (counted from the time one player is up till impact), and not counting any kind of travel time to get to the balls (and we were walking)! That is f*ing insane! If it was up to me, this guy would have been hit with at least 18 penalty strokes for slow play. Make that DQ'd for being an asshole. :onfire
I'm gonna go low this time...

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Re: Why do you take so long to hit the goddamn ball?

Post by legitimatebeef » Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:04 am

sjduffers wrote:
Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:02 pm
Completely agreed. I played yesterday with a guy like that, on a slow day to begin with (the 5-some in front of us was not particularly quick and had over 1 hole open in front of them by the time they got to 16). The round took over 5 hours on an easy, flat, muni. Why? I ask. Why?

I mentioned to Mr. slowpoke that starting January 1st, 2019, the rules will actually say that a shot SHOULD take less than 40 seconds (except for the unusual and tougher circumstance) and that tournament committees would be able to penalize players who go over that routinely. And by the way, you average over 40 seconds already: On the last couple of holes, I timed you on your tee shot (45s), on your approach shot (40s), on a routine chip (45s) and a first putt (1 minute). The guy ignores me. Then, on the next hole, I time him again on a fairly straightforward, straight-ish 25 footer. He finally hits it and I say to him: even this easy putt (to read and execute, not necessarily to make) took you 35 seconds! He quips back at me: "we are here to have fun, no?" Yes, we are, but I am telling you in no uncertain terms that you are freaking slow and that takes away the fun for me, and the rest of the group and the groups behind. I didn't actually said that last sentence to him. Instead I said: yes we are, but I am telling you because you must know. He sped up somewhat after that. He even mentioned that the round was slow, because of the group in front and he'd be surprised if we'd finish the last 4 holes in an hour (he had to leave by a certain time not to much after said hour). He think I looked at him sideways for saying shit like that.

God, if everybody was like him and shot say 85 (he was a bit better than that, but I don't think he broke 80), a foursome would take over 5 hours of actual golfing time (counted from the time one player is up till impact), and not counting any kind of travel time to get to the balls (and we were walking)! That is f*ing insane! If it was up to me, this guy would have been hit with at least 18 penalty strokes for slow play. Make that DQ'd for being an asshole. :onfire
I am feeling very bleak right now about muni golf. I am having trouble coping with slow play and I cannot currently envision any way of dealing with it. While I deeply sympathize with your post, it makes me feel even more hopeless.

"we are here to have fun, no?"

This kind of sums up the entire existential problem. You see a person taking excessively long to play, and imposing his rudeness on those around him. He on the other hand, sees a killjoy. He probably thinks that you are the rude one and opposed to people having fun. It goes without saying that he has no clue about his slow play.

I have thought these scenarios through, over and over. It is hopeless. There is no solution to this situation. People play at the pace they play, and have no capacity for improvement in this regard just like they have no capacity for improving their swing or their skill level.

Cold weather, I am sad to say, is the only way I can enjoy golf.
Build a bridge and get over it.

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Re: Why do you take so long to hit the goddamn ball?

Post by DougE » Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:29 pm

So, I'm annoyed with an LPGA player who held my foursome up yesterday. Thidapa Suwannapura, who is on the LPGA Tour, presently number 90, was out working on her game with her boyfriend Charlie (who is a top rated amateur in the Mid-Atlantic region). They were a twosome. They had a group in front of them, but it was only a twosome too. Thidapa was taking her sweet time on the greens, making us wait while she tried this putt and that putt, even though the next tee was clear. She and Charlie usually only took an extra 15 or 20 second on the greens as we pulled up to the tee, but then they slowly walked off while we stood on the tee waiting for them to get clear before we hit. I liked her before yesterday, but she/they got on all our nerves as the day went on. It just seemed like they thought their time was more important than ours. Our foursome pushed their twosome all day. They finally quit after the 15th, when we pushed them into the twosome ahead of them.

I don't care how freakin' good you are or who you are. There is no way your twosome should hold up a foursome when you have room in front of you. Practice putting on your own time. (Okay, now that I got that off my chest, I like her again. But her boyfriend Charlie is still on my shit list for not moving her along.)

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Re: Why do you take so long to hit the goddamn ball?

Post by legitimatebeef » Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:37 pm

DougE wrote:
Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:29 pm
So, I'm annoyed with an LPGA player who held my foursome up yesterday. Thidapa Suwannapura, who is on the LPGA Tour, presently number 90, was out working on her game with her boyfriend Charlie (who is a top rated amateur in the Mid-Atlantic region). They were a twosome. They had a group in front of them, but it was only a twosome too. Thidapa was taking her sweet time on the greens, making us wait while she tried this putt and that putt, even though the next tee was clear. She and Charlie usually only took an extra 15 or 20 seconds on the greens as we pulled up to the tee, but then they slowly walked off while we stood on the tee waiting for them to get clear before we hit. I liked her before yesterday, but she/they got on all our nerves as the day went on. It just seemed like they thought their time was more important than ours. Our foursome pushed their twosome all day. They finally quit after the 15th, when we pushed them into the twosome ahead of them.

I don't care how freakin' good you are or who you are. There is no way your twosome should hold up a foursome when you have room in front of you. Practice putting on your own time. (Okay, now that I got that off my chest, I like her again. But her boyfriend Charlie is still on my shit list for not moving her along.)
That was almost exactly like my experience on the course the other day! Except replace "current LPGA player" with delusional zit-faced teenager shooting over 100, with parents caddying his clubs around in a cart while he walked.
Build a bridge and get over it.

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