I am done with Bethpage Black

[legitimatebeef]

Yesterday was sort of a significant moment for me as a shitty golfer. Over the course of the round, and the trip back home, I realized some stuff about myself. That I care far less about golf than I thought, and that it doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy as a golfer.

1. The rough is too much for me. Since I seem to play most of my golf during the winter, and rarely during the warm season, I am no longer accustomed to hitting out of real grass that is not short. Basically I suck at playing from rough, and realistically there's not much I can do about it. If that makes me less of a man so be it. I am ready to accept it.

2. The trip is too long and difficult. 15 minutes bike riding through the busiest part of Manhattan, with golf bag on one shoulder because there's not enough space otherwise. I almost got in a fight once because I knocked back a sideview mirror on a parked van with my clubs. He thought I had broken it when I had just bent it back. I lost my cool and called him a stupid fuckin retard in front of all these people, very regrettable incident. Anyways I digress. From Penn Station (the worst train terminal in the city) it's a 45-60m train ride (depending on how many local stops), then a taxi ride to the course. It's not so bad going there, but at the end of a long day, it is so hard. I almost cried yesterday getting home, faced with such a Herculean task to fulfill, with exhausted legs and a sunstroke headache.

3. Long Island people, even the nicest ones, are still repugnant. I have known and made some really good professional relationships with such people, but playing golf and spending 5+ hours in their company, making chit-chat etc is a whole different scenario. It's not just at the course, it's on the whole trip. Bethpage is like smack in the middle of Long Island. That area is so saturated with Long Island essence. For a west coast native, who spends most of his time in the metropolis, this is especially hard to take, borderline inhumane. You wouldn't expect Israelis and Palestinians to enjoy nice rounds of golf together.

4. There is a lot about the whole facility that is infuriating. The staff are horrible crotchety LI people. Who are employees of NYS government I got to the range, emptied the bucket into the tray, then grabbed a nearby seat to put on some sunscreen. Some shitty old employee walks over and starts collecting my balls. "Excuse me, I'm using those." Out of nowhere he says "Yeah but you didn't pay for them."
"Uh, I just now got here, and I have my receipt, here look."
"Well ok, but you shouldn't be hitting off these mats, they were for a golf camp."

"Oh, sorry I had no idea. I'll move."

I start to pack up the balls and then he says "No, it's okay don't worry about it, the camp's over anyways." The older guy at the counter who had just sold me the balls was watching this whole stupid thing. I gave him a dirty look, threw up my hands and shook my head.

If this whole exchange strikes you as extremely shitty and pointless, then stay away from Long Island. These people are sick, ill. They can't help it. The starter was similarly shitty. She tried to pressure me and the other guy into pushing back our tee-time and waiting for a couple people WHO WERE LATE FOR THE TEE TIME. And when we answered that we'd rather tee off at our designated time, she acquiesced but with a lot of huffing and puffing and "Fine, have it your way, if you really have to" etc.

Besides the people, the facilities suck. This is a massive complex with five 18-hole courses, and trying to buy a snack or a drink is a goddamn wild goose chase. I finally just asked the pro shop, where is the easiest place to buy a bottle of water? There is exactly one place to buy a drink, even a soft drink, even a lousy bottle of water: the bar inside the grill. You know what it's like trying to get the bartender's attention at a crowded bar? Imagine doing that for a shitty bottle of water on a hot summer day. This is literally your only choice at the world famous Bethpage State Park golf course, home of the US Open, PGA Championship, Ryder Cup etc.

Also the driving range is so short that drivers are prohibited It's the world hardest public golf course, and you can't even warm up your driver before the round.

5. Speaking of major championships and pro golf... if I've long since run out of shits to give for these things, then why should I care about Bethpage Black? The answer is, I shouldn't. If you a huge fan of the PGA Tour then yes, you should derive some excitement from playing the same courses as your heroes. If not, then you're better off saving time, money and calories and finding a course where you can just have some fun. Anyways you are not impressing anybody. Fuckface.

[DougE]

That's the Long Island I know. Hate that place. The whole fucking island, the shit-ass attitude and the Long Island accents that go along with it. I'm with you Beef.

Alright, well, maybe everyone who lives there isn't THAT bad, but I'm pretty sure all most of those who support that orange-faced, narcissistic, 6-year old in the WH are. But I'm getting off topic.

One tip about the rough: The Faldo drill (early set of/presetting your wrists) can be a very helpful tool for getting out of the thick stuff. More swing speed. Steeper decent. Less affect from grabby grass. You'd be surprised how well it works when you get it right.

[legitimatebeef]

Thanks Doug. Yes I am now taking questions by the way.

About the LI people, my point was that even those who aren't that bad, are still bad somehow. You are right about the accents. They are extremely hard to take. Long Island is actually one of the most insular places I can think of. Not just culturally, geographically it is very isolated from the rest of the world. Not sure how that factors in, but indeed, Long Island is a very nasty backwoods region, its shittiness and provinciality are grossly underrated.

About this rough, I don't know. There is not much one can do. My right hand is still buzzing from all the chopping. Here's what happens. I rarely play here, so it's easy to forget that any shot from this deep stuff needs to be approached cautiously and conservatively. Otherwise you will be hitting your next shot from either the same side of rough or the rough across the fairway, or nearby fescue, or one of the many deep bunkers. If you wedge back out to the fairway--which takes a lot of restraint after you've only missed the fairway by a few yards--you can avoid disasters. I didn't. I amassed many strokes trying to play golf in my usual way. Especially as an amateur, in this kind of penal setup, you really have to accept your rough penalties. Or else.

[sjduffers]

Ouch! Who knew? The place looks so nice, and tough,but inviting somehow... I can't fault you for having this reaction, especially to the trip back to the city after a long day of walking in the heat without enough water. Rest up and feel better.

[legitimatebeef]

I played with a fitness trainer who was pretty ripped. Midway through the round I asked how he was holding up and he while he qualified it by listing all the workouts he'd done in the past 24 hours, he did cop to being tired. He says he sometimes hires a caddy here, and its good for a four shot improvement on average. There is a huge incline from the 8th green up to 9th tee. Once I got up there, my vision started going all white and I had to sit on the bench for a while before I could even think about teeing off. I am in better shape than anyone here.

[Duke of Hazards]

So what'd you shoot?

[srogers13]

So what'd you shoot?

Sounds like himself in the foot.