The People At The Driving Range Thread

[legitimatebeef]

I have yet to see a person who understands that the range ball receptacles can easily be moved to either side of the mat to accommodate both left and right golfers alike. They all treat them like immovable objects. Yesterday I watched an especially dim looking young man finish his entire large bucket, bending down and plucking out balls two at a time. Very briefly I considered walking over, not saying a word and just moving the stupid receptacle myself.

This is just one visual reminder of how the vast majority of people struggle with basic understanding. If one day I do witness someone move their ball receptacle to the other side of the mat, I will probably make a big fuss and try to become their friend. Rationally speaking there *have* to be some people who understand, because sometimes I get to the range and see an odd receptacle placed on the left side of its mat. I just have never seen it happen.

[legitimatebeef]

Today I think I figured out why I get so rankled by the sight of people attempting to stretch at the driving range. Most of them I am guessing do not intend for this, but to me it always looks like preening behavior. Like they are putting on some sort of exhibition and they want everyone to watch them. LOL. I have said many times that stretching is way too personal and compromising to do in public. A few weeks ago I saw a dude bend over at the waist so far that his head got between his knees. Like, good for you, that is some exceptional flexibility. But have some dignity man. When I stretch my ass apart, even at home I shut the door. Don't even let the dog see what I am up to.

[legitimatebeef]

Today at the range some goon drives up in a rage, yelling at "whoever just hit into the parking lot and dented my car". I didn't bother looking up but I felt his pain. I have a dent in my own car from a range ball, and it takes a real fuckup to pull one over the left side of this range. The whole right side abuts the 17th fairway, so there is plenty of room to miss. To send a ball into this parking lot is a malicious kind of fuckup.

What happened next took me by surprise. The range was at full capacity, and all these people rose up as one to clap back at the guy.

-FUCK YOU
-SHUT UP
-DUDE THIS IS A GOLF COURSE
-YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN
-GO HOME

So an argument breaks out. The guy is yelling that the guilty party is on this range and knows who they are, and the mob keeps telling him to get lost. Even the Indian immigrant guy next to me is yelling FUCK YOU at him; he looks towards me for affirmation, like "Right?" but I just went back to my whacking.

Now I would not yell at an entire range full of people but I understood the anger. And I was taken aback at the spontaneous unity breaking out among these strangers rallying around to protect whoever it was that hit into the lot. He did make a point: the person who did it knew what they did, and in a moral world, ought to have owned up to it. Remember earlier this year, at the Ojai Valley Inn I damaged a car windshield with a horrible errant shot and I owned up to that shit. So I am not about to join in a mob against some guy who just got his shit bashed in by a golf ball. Frankly I was appalled at the mob and wanted nothing to do with them. Some woman shook her head and made it political. "I guess this is normal in this country now."

Be that as it may, and yes this guy looked like a right winger, but then what is civil about whacking a ball into someone's car and then not owning up to it? That is just as damning behavior to "this country". Anyways I hate going to the range on the weekends. Whole different and lousy ass crowd.

[bkuehn1952.2]

I suspect the mob was unsympathetic because of the injured party's approach. Your car gets dinged. Go over to the hitting area and and say: "Excuse me. My car was just hit by a range ball. Would the person who hit a ball into the parking lot be willing to identify themself? I would like to work out how to fix this situation." Yes, everyone would likely ignore me but on the other hand, a person presenting themself as a calm rational human will receive a better response.

Someone screaming with veins popping is not going to get anyone to admit fault except maybe another psycho looking for a chance to throw down.

[legitimatebeef]

On two separate days I observed the same fellow forgo the use of the ball tray, choosing instead to either bend over and handpick a single ball out of the bucket at a time, or else use the head of the club to dig it out (which usually didn't go well). At first I got really angry and wanted to scream in his face. Yeah I get it, we all want to stand out in the world but this was a whole new level of being stupid, I thought. But then after some more observation, and maybe some empathy, I wondered if maybe he is doing this as a way to slow himself down and keep himself from machine gunning the balls. That makes sense I guess, like one of those special dog bowls full of nooks and crannies to prevent the chow from being gulped down. If this is the case, then I am impressed, as he appears to be a beginner. A nice thought at least.

As I see it, getting better at golf is a catch-22. In order to improve, you kind of have to hit the balls at a slow deliberate pace. But hitting balls at a slow pace is actually next to impossible, when you suck. I mean, you can pretend and go through the motions and slow down for the sake of slowing down. But that won't last. People get impatient and before long they are machine gunning again. I know, I say that having been those people. Nowadays when I am really practicing well I will hit like two, three, maybe four balls at a go, then go sit for a minute or so. Not out of principle or anything. It's just tiring, body and mind. For anyone trying to improve, if the swing doesn't tire you, then you are probably doing it wrong! How the hell are we supposed to break out of the cycle. I don't know.

[legitimatebeef]

Lately I am seeing a lot of guys trying to hit their iron like two yards, but like, hit it perfectly. Because that's like, easy, right! And then they try to like, scale it up to a full swing. It is foolproof I swear!

I am sorry for laughing. I suppose it is logical. Master what happens at impact, but in slow motion, and then build and build on top of that. It never works. It will never work. Like the mythical boy who lifted a tiny baby calf every day and then eventually he was lifting a full adult steer like it's nothing. It is simple I will give them that.

[legitimatebeef]

Encountered a new one today. Some asshole was playing on a speaker, a women's voice counting to four, on a loop. For the whole time he was there, like 45 minutes. Can only surmise this was some sort of futile tempo exercise. A complete nuisance in a public place and of course he sucked shit when it came to hitting the ball. I had noise cancelling headphones but probably others weren't as fortunate. Anyways, new levels of stupidity AND rudeness unlocked.

[legitimatebeef]

On two separate days I observed the same fellow forgo the use of the ball tray, choosing instead to either bend over and handpick a single ball out of the bucket at a time, or else use the head of the club to dig it out (which usually didn't go well). At first I got really angry and wanted to scream in his face. Yeah I get it, we all want to stand out in the world but this was a whole new level of being stupid, I thought. But then after some more observation, and maybe some empathy, I wondered if maybe he is doing this as a way to slow himself down and keep himself from machine gunning the balls. That makes sense I guess, like one of those special dog bowls full of nooks and crannies to prevent the chow from being gulped down. If this is the case, then I am impressed, as he appears to be a beginner. A nice thought at least.

I saw another, different asshole doing this same idiot behavior! Maybe it is spreading around as some kind retarded life hack. I should probably feel sorry for these hapless losers but what I end up feeling is just rage. My back neighbor is like five acres of pasture, I should just talk them into letting me whack balls out there from my backyard. Fuck this public driving range shit. It's assholes all the way down!

[legitimatebeef]

People who attempt to stretch in public gross me out now. You might as well bust out your toenail clipper and get to work as far as I am concerned. Have some dignity.

[MattF]

I thought you had a sim/launch monitor and a net?

You could avoid the range, the people and the shitty balls using one instead.